Woman Hosting and Funding Brother’s Wedding Cancels, Internet Applauds Why

Woman Hosting and Funding Brother’s Wedding Cancels, Internet Applauds Why

A woman who graciously agreed to host—and partially fund—her brother’s wedding rescinded her offer, as she told Newsweek about the family drama which went viral online.

The 31-year-old, who goes by u/-terrificterror- on Reddit, took to the social media platform for advice, posting that she was “considering cancelling” the ceremony between her 28-year-old brother and his 25-year-old girlfriend.

After heated messages, the final straw was a fallout between the woman and her would-be sister-in-law which saw the wedding plans go up in flames.

“I told her she had all of three seconds to get out of my line of sight before I would be bringing hellfire down on her, while instructing my children to leave the room,” the mom-of-four told Newsweek.

Woman plans on cancelling brother's wedding
The woman told Newsweek that the wedding has since been placed on hold. Frank Thewes, New Jersey therapist, weighed in on the tense situation.

Photo-illustration by Newsweek/Getty

Newsweek cannot verify all the details surrounding this case.

The Wedding Has Been Placed on Hold

The Reddit post detailing the initial drama, which can be read here, explained the European woman owned a home in Colorado “in the middle of the mountains, surrounded by forests. It truly is stunning and a dream come true.”

The home is so enticing, it seems her brother’s fiancée was eyeing it up as the venue for her destination wedding.

“While I was hesitant to host a wedding in the house of my dreams, I can absolutely understand how my dream home is their dream venue. I told him that they absolutely could, but I had some rules,” the woman wrote, explaining her brother had approached her about hosting.

While agreeing, she stipulated four rules, including no more than 25 guests, no smoking, damage or any decorative choices that could permanently damage the property.

“I offered to decorate and find a caterer, and that’d be my gift to them. I am currently almost $10,000 into my ‘gift’, because it’s my brothers wedding and it’s what I wanted to do,” the Redditor continued.

Wedding
A file image depicting chaos at wedding. The woman told Newsweek that the engaged couple decided to put the wedding on hold before she could actually cancel anything.

Getty Images

But despite her efforts, the family’s plans for a fairytale wedding soon fell apart.

“Now, his fiancé had decided that she needs at least 45 guests. I was willing to be flexible with one or two more, but 20? No. On top of that, she wants me to pay to fly her family to Colorado because I fronted the money to my other brother who is actually is paying me back when he can afford a ticket,” the woman explained.

“I told her no, and I got sassed. She also wants me to build a pergola, paint my living room and pay for the drinks.

“I said no, I’ve done enough. She has now taken it upon herself to tell people that I’m coming back on my promises, that I left her hanging, and that she can’t afford the super expensive wedding I ‘made’ her plan. She even went as far as to uninvite my grandparents just to spite me. I’m getting at least two messages a day asking why I’m ruining her day, or if I’m jealous,” she added.

“I am considering cancelling the whole thing,” she said in the post, while voicing concerns about putting her brother in a difficult position.

The Family Fallout

But things later came to a head during a family gathering, as the two women confronted each other.

The woman, who chose to remain anonymous, told Newsweek: “I told her and my brother that since my home did not suit her needs and it was stressing her out to the point that she was calling my children names I no longer felt like I was giving them the appropriate gift by supplying a venue, caterer and decorations.

“I said that I felt like in my efforts to protect my home, I was limiting their options too much, standing in the way of their dream wedding and as a result would no longer be hosting,” she added.

The couple had differing reactions to the news, as she continued: “My brother seemed relieved, admitted to not quite wanting a destination wedding and that things got a little out of hand during the planning phase, thanked me for my willingness to help and offered to pay me back for the deposits I’m losing, which I appreciated but declined.

I said no, I’ve done enough.

-TerrificTerror-

“His SO [significant other], however, accused me of being petty and jealous because ”I’m single and no one wants me” and going out of my way to cause her stress and ruin her day.”

The bride-to-be then made some choice comments about the woman’s two adopted children, as more family members got involved.

She told Newsweek: “My father stepped in, said it would indeed be better for her to leave and told my brother that he was sorry, but that this is unacceptable.

“My brother agreed, took his family home and has since called me to apologize and to say that the wedding planning has been put on hold until she ‘comes to her senses’.”

What Do the Comments Say?

Since being shared to the social media platform on February 24, the Reddit post has been upvoted 5,000 times, while thousands also commented.

“At that point, I wouldn’t even go if she invited me, regardless of venue,” one user wrote.

Another Redditor added: “Cancel the wedding. Block her. If anyone bothers you about it, send them those screenshots.”

“Yeah, cancel it and get as many deposits back as possible. You don’t need a wedding to get married. They can go to the courthouse. The marriage is what is important right?” a third said.

Expert Verdict: Cancel The Whole Thing

Newsweek consulted Frank Thewes, owner of Path Forward Therapy in New Jersey and practising therapist, for his take on the tense situation and his advice to the woman.

“I think that she would be doing the right thing by everyone if she just cancelled the whole thing. She wouldn’t be screwing her brother over. Her brother’s fiancé is screwing him over with her outrageous and relationship-straining actions,” Thewes told Newsweek.

“Just cancel. They can find their own venue and then invite anyone that they want. Everyone will be better off in the long run. This woman has already given far too much to her brother’s seemingly ungrateful fiancé and it isn’t enough.”

“There isn’t a real relationship here to salvage. If the woman’s brother is angry at her then he needs to have some self reflection about who he’s marrying and why he’s allowing her to treat his own sister this way,” he added.

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.